Waiting

Who am I kidding??? It is here. So much for keeping in touch better. I don't think anyone really reads this anymore so it is mostly for therapy these days.

Lots has been happening. God is really working in my life...I can feel it...I just don't know what direction He is sending me in. Due to some things that happened that week...I posted on my facebook the other week "I am a jack of all trades...Master at none". Once I thought this was a bad thing...I cried out to God, Shouldn't I excel at one and the other just be little bonuses...Which one should I focus on? Music? Teaching? Creativity? Photography? Writing? Outreach? Leadership? Which one would bring you the most glory??? Then a small voice came to me..."Wait. I have something better for you." So, with that...I am excited about what God has planned. I pray it will be revealed to me soon, but I also believe that there will be others involved that may need their thoughts/hearts prepared as well as mine. I am waiting with anticipation.

I do have some thoughts and have sought some Wise counsel...We are all praying and waiting to see how it will all be unveiled. So, if anyone is still reading this...please pray that God will GROW IT OR STOW IT!!!!

Have a great day.

I caught a BUG

Cricut bug that is...

Recently I have been roaming different websites and message boards to take in all the cricut buzz going on. I am so excited about all the possibilities and so sad because I just don't have the time I want to spend crafting. It doesn't stop me from buying the carts though.

Today, I went on the Cricut website and decided to enter a contest...They have a new Winter Wonderland Cartridge that is FABULOUS!!!! It is their 100th cartridge. Can you believe it??? (BTW - NO, I do not have all 100 of them...only about 45.) You can find out more about the cartridge here. Check it out!!! It has lots of potential and it isn't just for Winter anymore!

See you soon...hopefully sooner than last time..
bec

It's may not be your fault...

but it is your responsibility...

I am in Indio with my friend from Arizona. She is still sleeping in and I have the TV on...Not sure of the show but Scott Hamilton is talking about his new book...The above quote came from there. I like it. Thought for today...

Ok. so I am flipping through the channels again and found a Cricut Info-mercial. I have seen this so many times but I still love it!!! I think it might be a sickness. I makes me want to play with it...too bad it is at home.

So, Ronnie and I are at the Indio resort/timeshare. We leave tomorrow but have the whole day today. I really do love it here...Ok...

Since this is my first blog in awhile...ok A LONG WHILE!!! I will sign off for now. I am hoping to be able to write in here more than I have lately. Life just got hard for awhile...

TTFN

Debt Free by 43!!!!

My new goal...

I have decided to sell Mary Kay in an effort to pay off student loans. I prayed about it...saved my weekly allowance and here I am!!! Your new MARY KAY INDEPENDENT BEAUTY CONSULTANT!!!!

I am so excited about this opportunity. Mary Kay is a great company to work for.

My first challenge is to do 100 faces in about 60 days. I have till June 30. I have done two so far!!! I am taking volunteers and their friends. Let's start with YOU!!! What day are you available for me to customize your skin care needs?

This is not only a great challenge but it will help me practice being the best skin care professional for you!!!

Let me know how I can help. To contact me click here. I look forward to color matching you and your friends!

Walkin in Memphis...

Today is my birthday!!!! Woooohooo!!!! It is truly the best birthday I have had in a long time. My party was fantastic! Everyone had a lot of fun, but not more than me.

My BFF is taking me to Memphis to see Elvis...well his house and where he is buried. :) This is someplace I have wanted to go since I was 8 years old...The day Elvis died. I am a second generation Elvis fan. My niece is a third generation as mom was the first. :)

We are staying at the Heartbreak Hotel... Shopping at Beale Street...visiting Graceland...YAY!!! and all kinds of other things. It will be a quick 3 days filled from top to bottom with activities...

I will not have access to internet while I am gone so don't expect any updates until my return. I will miss you both...as I only have two readers...and will share upon my return.

TCB Baby!

Bec' Bunco Bash

Well, Saturday was a HUGE success...I hope all who participated had a great time and all who were unable to join us know you were missed.

Oh...Are you wondering what I am talking about? Saturday was my 4oth b-day party. We played bunco and laughed all night. It was a great time...You can check out pics on fb but thought I would share.

Aren't you glad I finally had something fun and happy to share???

Ok...I am off. I have lots to do... talk to you soon.

Once Upon A Time...

These flowers were arranged by my cousin Cyndee for Auntie Baba's memorial. Aren't they beautiful? Coincidentally, my paternal Grandmother passed away on Monday after a short illness. Her funeral was on Thursday in Kansas. I was not able to attend but my heart and thoughts were with my family.

When I was a little girl my dad always told me that I lived in a bubble. It protected me from the real world and its "true" colors. I was surrounded by family and people who loved me. When you asked me "what do you want to be when you grow up?" my ready response was a resounding, "ME!" I believed that living in the moment (or in my bubble) was the way I was supposed to live. I never really planned when I would get married or how many kids I would have...what kind of house I would live in...I thought it would all be the same as when I lived in my bubble. I would find the man God would want me to marry and the rest would magically fall into place.

Then, at the encouragement of my sister, I went to college...(Yes! I blame college!!!)... All of a sudden, people were not nice, the news never holds any good and happy news...it is full of gossip and tragic,scary stories. My wise sister has told me that these new found experiences are called "awareness"

Still life is good...got married, had child, bought house...all falling into place right?

About 6 months ago, I woke up and said...Is this what mid life is all about? I said house...not condo...lots of money....not a budget...friends that magically connect...not clicks and cliches...no church politics...I was scared and clueless...I got on my knees and decided to work through this...

The next several months brought out fears and loneliness and panic attacks and sadness...you know..."awareness"...when I felt Satan taking over...I prayed...when I was scared...I prayed...when prayer was answered...I prayed...It was all I could do...and it worked.

My childhood was seemingly solid with people who loved and supported me both in family and friendships...I felt secure...as I grew older and had to work at things like friendships that was so new to me...or just accepting where I am in life...My anchors have started to fall...loved ones have passed away, others have moved away, making me feel vulnerable...After months of constant prayer and thought and seeking....I think it was God telling me..."turn to me. I am here for you. I AM your rock!"

My life is what God has for me now...I will lean on his mercy when I feel vulnerable.

Finally!!!

This is going to be short and sweet. I am tired...but I finally got some pages done and wanted to share them...

The first one is my favorite...

Enjoy and have a great weekend...BTW - 40 til 40 pics are coming along...willl post on 10 at a time so it is more fun...night

40 til 40 and Fabulously ME

Hello all...yes yes...I know it has been awhile. You have probably all stopped checking the blog...well, I am going to write anyway...SO THERE!

Like my new background? I love it... and perfect for the season...

Saturday marked 40 days till my 40th birthday. I thought I would spice it up a bit. It seems that "seasonal" albums are very "in season" right now, so I am going to do one of my own. I am going to count down to my 40th birthday by taking pictures every day of something I did, love, etc...Hope I can come up with 40 things....Here is what I have so far...course, the pictures are not all here. I will post them in the next post...

• Day 40 - I met up with a friend from my tour. Haven't seen him in about 17 years. It was great to see him and his family...Fun times!
• Day 39 - Went to lunch and a movie with my Best Friend. We have been friends for so long that we just pick up where we left off...This time, we left off with the promise that we would see each other more often...
• Day 38 - Today - I was chasing rainbows...With the rain and over cast clouds I was SURE there was a rainbow...You will have to stayed tuned if you want to know what I found.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I am looking forward to it...Maybe I will do a 40 after 40 as well. :)

Ok. Talk to you all soon. Let me know if you have any ideas for my adventure.

Greetings!!!

It feels like it has been soooo long since I posted anything...today, I still don't know what to post...

This is the weekend of LOVE!!! I have read several blogs and challenges for the scrapbookers and the theme is a resounding love and hearts theme. I feel motivated but not enough to clean off the work area, get out the cricut and go to town...my heart is there and I will just go with..."It's the thought that counts, right?" Hopefully, I can pull myself together for Easter...which is right around the corner.

I have some busy times coming up...this weekend, along with Valentine's day is Orange County Scrapbook Expo. I LOVE THIS...I can shop and spend all day long...I have some things in mind as to what I want so I am not just spending my money...AND I am volunteering on Sunday morning for 4 hours to earn some extra dough...yippee....I love to be able to spend what I want...I will let you know how it goes...

Next weekend, I am meeting up with a friend from tour and his family. I can't wait. I haven't seen him since tour which was 1992...me being the Math wiz that I am...that would be...17 or so years...Sure doesn't feel that long...

The next couple weekends are open but I have a friend who is turning 40 so I will have to call and harrass him about that...

After the break, the real fun begins...here goes...my aunt's memorial service, Mike's b-day, My b-day party, and then my b-day which I will be flying away to....well, I don't really know...my BFF won't tell so I am left to guess...then...it is Easter. Craziness I tell you...and I love every minute of it.

I would love to hear if anyone has ideas on where I am going...(If you really do know where we are going...please don't guess. I don't want to spoil the surprise but I do like to like to play and see what we can come up with)...For now...the only clues you have are...we are going on an airplane and will be gone from Friday to Sunday... I will start giving you clues in the next blog...

A Moment of Silence

On Friday, word got out that the President of the company that I work for, would not be returning to the company...Today, we were told that he had passed away from a rare form of Cancer over the weekend.

There was a small memorial for him at work today. There was a moment of silence at the beginning and at the end of the service. This is a man who was deeply loved and respected from the employees that work for him. He held high standards for the employees but in return he kept the best interest of the employees a priority. The employees at all levels are saddened.

He had many accomplishments...you can find out more about him here. For some reason, I can't get any of the pictures to work...There is a good picture of him attached to the link.

My prayers and thoughts go out to his family and close friends in this difficult time.

Simple Beauty

Ok....so it has been awhile. Hope all is well. The picture to the left is one I took and told you about in the last post. That is the moon my daddy hugged and returned to me.

I love the trees outside my front door...don't they look eerily familiar to the ones to the right...hmmm...they are one and the same....or two and the same. Yes...I just think they have a great personality and capture so many colors of nature behing it. Simple Beauty.

Well, good news and bad news in the scrapping world...good news...I finished all the calendars I started BEFORE Christmas (for my Christmas presents) I wanted to make something for my coworkers...Anyway...they were finally finished on Saturday...Bad News...I forgot to take a picture to share with you...If it makes any of you feel better - everyone loved them and two people told me I could sell them.

Ok. Take care and I will work on keeping in better touch...You do the same.

Ropin the Moon!

Ok...so it is 2 weeks into the new year and I haven't written in...lets not go there. I would like to say many things have happened but I can't remember anything...

Did anyone see the moon this morning? My dad called me at the crack of dawn...well, just before the crack of dawn...told me to stop my morning routine...drag Bethany away from her breakfast and walk outside..."Look West"...or was it East?What do you see?"I am sending a hug up to the moon and back down to you." So sweet. It reminded me that sometimes it is best to jump outside of our routine and see the beauty around us. I took a picture of the moon a little later in the morning but I am having some issues trying to load it on...sorry...

So....I have been spending soooo much time on Facebook...Over the Christmas break I signed many family folk up and it has been non stop ever sense. My favorite game is Scramble. Have you played it? Try it. fun stuff...check it out.

So, scrapping stuff...I am still working on presents for Christmas...I am making calendars for the people at work but my scrappy friends seem to think that they wouldn't be appreciated and I should give it to them...we will see...

That is all for now...see you soon

ALOOOOOHA!

Yes. That's right. A hawaiian theme in the middle of a very cold winter. Every year, it is tradition for the girls in the family to have a tea. Every year it is a different theme. This year's theme is a Hawaiian theme (I even had a friend who was going to Hawaii get me some authentic Hawaiian gifts.) ...everyone brings a homemade craft or gift of some sort that goes with the theme...but we have decided to change it a bit. Here's how it went down...

With all the craziness of the season and the added bits of stress and laces of sadness, we decided the tea was too far out of reach. We have now started a new tradition...

We went to the Jazz Kitchen in Downtown Disney and had yummy beignets. YUM!!!! We all had a great time...with little to no stress and we have decided that this should be our new tradition. As for the Hawaiian theme? We have decided to have a Hawaiian themed New Years Eve. Should be fun. Will let you know how it goes.
Here are some pictures of the day...

I know...not the best picture of me but you can look at everyone else.

If I don't speak to you before; I hope you all have a wonderful and safe New Year!!!

Happy Christmas Eve!

I can't believe it is Christmas already. The last few weeks have been a whirr of activity.
I love Christmas...the lights, the decorations...it makes everything feel so warm, quiet and peaceful....then you hit the mall or a store and they are running you over to get that last bargain that is needed, ripping it out of your hands.

Seriously, Christmas is a time of family coming together...our pastor says that the holidays are about presence...not presents. Every year it seems like a rat race because Mike and I travel from his family to mine on Christmas Eve and again on Christmas. It is crazy...and exhausting...but it is family...and we wouldn't have it any other way. This year I am grateful to for the presence of my family. Everyone is able to be here and while this Christmas will weigh heavier at times with a twinge of sadness for missing our loved one, she will be in our hearts; We will all be together celebrating the Hope that comes from the birth of one very special little boy.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday season full of presence of loved ones!!!

Wishing you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!
And Happy Birthday Jesus!!!

3 days till Christmas...or is it 4?

Finally! Christmas Cards are done and sent out. Which one will you get??? Actually, they were done a while ago...and addressed...but life happened and I got behind...still...they are on their way and in my opinion...beautiful...Hope you like them...

Well, I am off this week...and loving it already. I have big plans for today...I want to clean off my dining area so I can play with the cricut...Bethany and I need to get her tree up...and I think that is all...Believe me...It is enough...

Yesterday in church we had a special guest in Sunday school...SANTA WAS THERE!!!

Pretty cute huh? Well I am off to clean so I can play. Talk to you all soon...

In Loving Memory...

I have to admit...I have been dreading this post for several days. Here goes...

Wednesday night Auntie Baba was welcomed into the arms of the Lord. I am so happy that her suffering is over and so saddened by the loss of a wonderful person. I loved her so very much.

Oh boy...here come the water works. I was doing so well too.

I think it is sinking in that we will never share in another Christmas, or tea, or share wacky ideas, hear her laugh or her quirky wit....It is all a memory....but truly one I will remember always.

So while I will not see her again in this lifetime; She will be there when the Lord welcomes me home too. (Hopefully that will not be too soon). For now, goodbye sweet Baba. Rest in Peace. I will miss you terribly, think of you often and while I will not see you again this side of heaven, you will forever be in my heart.

Twilight Zone

Picture this...a three bedroom farm house...cows mooing in the background...two rocking chairs on the porch...You are standing in the living room with surroundings unfamiliar to you. Different house, different furniture...different state...different feel. Nothing is yours...nothing feels safe...Everywhere you look you just hear the tune in your head...(do do do do; do do do do) That was the twilight zone song. That is how my mom felt as she cleaned this house for her sister to come die in....

Don't get me wrong...this house was generously given to us on loan so that Baba could spend her final days as comfortable as possible but I think it was just strange thinking that she was preparing for her sisters death. Surreal, I would think. Sad...

Well, Barbara is still hanging in there. Her children are all there. My uncle and grand dad came home on Monday. Mom comes home on Thursday. I don't know how my uncle Ernie is handling things but my Grand dad pretty much considers her dead. He went and said goodbye and that is it. That is his grieving process I guess. Me? I just can't...

It is funny how you can not see someone for a couple years, and while you may miss that person, it isn't until you start to lose them forever that you really start to miss them. It is too bad we can't grieve while we can do something about it...Don't get me wrong. I love my aunt...she knows that and has never doubted it...but I will still miss her terribly...her kids may not be so lucky...

Okay...sad news behind us... lets hear some happy news...hmmm...I had something in line but I can't remember. I am tired...talked to you all soon

Please help Mommy to be brave...

That was Bethany's prayer tonight.

I imagine it is the same for everyone who has experienced loss. My loss has not yet capped but my heart doesn't believe it. Some days are easier than others to get through. Tuesday I was good and strong and a great support to my mom (even though she didn't act like she wanted it.) Yesterday...not so much. I was busy at work all day but once I picked up Bethany, I became emotional...and then a wreck...I had to pull myself together in the middle of Target. Poor Bethany just looked at me like I had completely lost it. (and I had) I have decided to build strength on the good days and use the strength on the bad days...Hopefully there are more good days than bad...

So on to happier moments. Tonight was the school Christmas musical. My niece (SJ) and Bethany both go to the same school so it is fun to see them both up there singing....and dancing. Bethany had a "hip hop" dance number before the program started. She was a riot...and she loved every minute of it.

There isn't much to tell about the musical itself except that all the kids (k-6th grade) wore white shirts with jeans. They accessorized with scarves, hats and gloves...(those poor kids must have been roasting...) and they sang...some alone, some in groups, some spoke...A good time was had by all. Oh and don't forget the cocoa and cookie reception afterward. YUM!

Speaking of...that is all for now. Talk to you soon. Nighty night

Auntie Baba...

Here is the latest on my aunt...

Yesterday she was diagnosed as Stage 4 Cancer. The doctors have given her days/weeks maybe a couple of months to live. The doctors have not released her to travel by commercial air or car so we are trying to get her life-flighted here to California where she can spend her final days with family. I am part of an amazing family where everyone is pulling together and doing what needs to be done.

My Uncle Ernie is talking with the Doctors to get her here. Once she is here, she will be living with them so they can take care of her. My brother is working on a plane ticket(if needed) for my mom to fly out to Idaho. I even have a cousin (her ex son in law) who has offered to drive my mom out there and bring Baba back if it is needed.

It all seems surreal.... I will keep you posted.